帮助提示
看着你的孩子开始他们的大学生涯对父母来说可能是一种压力很大的经历, 特别是如果他们以前没有离开过家. 在这个家庭转型的重要时刻, many parents put their own feelings and reactions on hold while helping their children prepare for college life. 关注自己的情感需求, 然而, as well as your kid’s will go a long way toward helping everyone feel 安慰able with the challenges that going to college represents.
资源
Our teens’ senior year of high school is so filled with college entrance tasks that it’s easy to lose focus on the character traits and life skills they will need to succeed “on their own”. 他们即将步入成年, 也就是说我们要释放他们让他们对自己的生活负责. 释放意味着信任，而不是控制. 我们必须相信上帝，相信我们的孩子. 在这个时候，为这种转变做好心理准备是很重要的.
What are the characteristics of the responsible adult who will smoothly transition into university life? 戴夫·维尔曼在《拼搏体育》一书中说，负责任的成年人:
- 做出慎重考虑的决定
- 遵循道德准则
- 为他们的行为负责
- 为他人着想
- 帮助有需要的人
- 说真话，活真话
- 自己付账
- 明智地投资他们的资源
- 谨守所托付给他们的
- 活在当下，放眼未来
如果我们回顾一下这个列表，并发现我们青少年的一些成长领域, 在这最后的几个月里，在他们展开翅膀之前，我们可以做很多事情. 然而，为了灌输技能，您必须首先对它们建模. For example, a great project to help you and your child grow is to memorize scripture together. God’s Word is clear about the power of this practice (Psalm 118:11; 2 Timothy 3:16; Hebrews 4:12). 为了完成这个项目, you need to show by example how it is done first and then have them do the task with you while you coach and encourage. 最后，你可以把这个项目和其他项目完全交给他们，肯定他们的成功.
T在这里 are some caveats we must remember as we prepare our child for independence: it is important to acknowledge all the emotions we are experiencing as this transition takes place and it is also a good idea to share our feelings with them. 然而, we have to be careful to balance our sharing of sadness and fear with the sharing of our joy, 兴奋, 相信上帝. 我们必须小心不要把我们对孩子的梦想变成负担. 神对他们生命的计划可能和我们所想的不一样. 大学是一个磨练甚至发现自己才能的神奇过程, 礼物, 能力, 和潜在的, 因此，如果我们想以一种健康的方式促进这一进程，我们就必须保持开放的心态.
时间过得真快. 作为父母，我们有时觉得自己似乎还没有准备好迎接这一飞跃.
We cannot stress enough how important our faith in God and our trust in His faithfulness is to this process. 花点时间回顾和回忆你和孩子生活中的奇迹! 记住上帝的指引, 安慰, 领先的, 以及伴随着养育子女的起起落落而来的保证.
This should produce the gratitude and joy that makes a perfect launching pad 为了你的孩子 as they join the PBA Sailfish family!
认识到, 矛盾的感觉 关于你孩子离家出走的事 正常的. 对许多家庭来说，分离的过程是艰难的. 这很正常, 太, to look forward to the relative peace and quiet of having your active older adolescent out of the house and having the place to yourself, 或者能够花时间和年幼的孩子在一起.
允许自己去感受 无论出现什么情绪. 假装不难过是没有什么好处的, 有罪, 松了一口气, 或担心当你的孩子准备上大学. You probably aren’t fooling anyone by trying to hide your reactions; a healthier approach is to talk about them, 和你的家人, 朋友, 教会或任何能支持你的人.
“全面健康” 给自己的目标. 尤其是在压力大的时候, 它有助于获得充足的睡眠, 经常吃健康的食物，进行适当的锻炼. Spending some recharging time-doing the special things that you especially like-is another step toward wellness. 如果你感觉很好, 你更有可能有精力去帮助你的孩子，成为一个好的榜样.
记住,, 为了你的孩子, 上大学是迈向成年的重要一步. Going to college represents the culmination of the teaching and learning of 18 years or more. This is the time when your hard work will show itself in the form of a framework that your first-year student will use in beginning to make independent choices. Many parents find that it helps to focus on the fact that providing your child with this opportunity is a priceless gift. 为自己感到骄傲!
为自己找到一个新的创造性的出口. Especially parents whose last or only child has moved away to college find that taking on a new challenge is an excellent way to manage and channel their energy and feelings. 你曾经想过写一本书吗? 学会飞鱼? 做被子? 在你的社区做志愿者? 在工作中承担新的项目或责任. 旅行? 买辆你自己的自行车，骑着它满城跑? 把你在孩子成长过程中打算做的事情列一张清单, 但一直没时间去做. 现在是你的机会!
很难预测最后一天是什么 欢迎周 看起来像. 一些学生迫不及待地要开始他们的新生活, 让他们的父母感到自信. 其他学生则在与分离的想法作斗争, 常常因为不表达自己的感受而使事情复杂化. 他们可能显得易怒和闷闷不乐, but what is often happening is a struggle to embrace their new surroundings and let go of the familiar.
欢迎周期间有很多活动让每个人都忙个不停, 但告别的时刻很快就会到来. 我们怎样才能充分利用这最后的时刻呢?
在这个释放的时刻，最重要的目的之一是传递我们的祝福. 我们的祝福让学生们知道我们接受他们，爱他们, just as they are; that they are special to us in their own unique way, 我们对上帝为他们预备的未来充满信心.
这不是专注于改变或培养特定行为的时候. Instead, it is a time to acknowledge what is on the inside: character, values, and life direction.
一个很好的资源可以用来规划具体的方法来实现这一点，那就是书， 约翰·特伦特和加里·斯莫利的《拼搏体育》 (田纳西州纳什维尔:托马斯·纳尔逊出版社，1986年). 他们教我们如何通过“有意义的触摸”来表达我们的祝福, 口语词汇, 高价值的信息, 特别未来的愿景和积极的承诺. “我们的祝福应该包括所有的五种元素.
我们的学生在告别的时刻最需要的是肯定, 尤其是当他们展望未知的未来时. Our sincere and honest affirmation of who they are goes a long way toward setting them up for a successful transition.
我们应该告诉他们我们的赞成, 说我们有多骄傲, 向他们保证我们的爱, 分享我们对他们人生方向的希望和信心. 对我们中的一些人来说，用语言表达这些事情是很困难的, 所以你可以自由地以书面形式与他们交流. 这样做的一个好方法是在你离开之前给他们一张特别的卡片让他们阅读. You can even tuck away little postcard blessings or note cards in their belongings as you help them unpack. You never know if they will come across these messages at a time when they really need encouragement.
Some parents have just come through rough waters with their students and this process may be difficult. 然而，考虑你的学生拥有的每一个积极的、好的品质，并以此为基础. 我再怎么强调这一行动的重要性也不为过. It is very meaningful for us as parents and for our students and may even be a turning point in your relationship.
以下是一些让这一天难忘的具体方法:
- 在当地的餐厅为你和你的学生准备一顿特别的午餐或晚餐. 点击 在这里 餐厅推荐.
- 一本记录学生成长历程的相册, 传达你的祝福, 追溯神在他们生命中的参与, 或在图画中编织特别的经文, 等.
- 在他们的房间里藏着特别的纸条或零食
- Praying with your student just before you leave or taking a special “prayer walk” together sometime the evening before or that day
- 裱一张新的全家福，在说“再见”的时候展示出来。
- Establishing a tradition that you will repeat every time you visit the campus: a unique restaurant, 特别的小吃, 等.
- 参加祈祷音乐会活动期间 欢迎周, w在这里 you will pray with other parents and write notes that are delivered to your student a few weeks into the semester
注意:记住, 个人心理咨询 is available to your student if he or she continues to emotionally struggle with the separation from home and with college life.
当然，你仍然是一个家长，你的孩子仍然需要你的支持和指导. 这里有一些你可以表达你的关心和提高你的孩子在PBA的经验的方法.
保持联系! 即使你的孩子正在尝试独立的选择, he or she still needs to know that you’re t在这里 and are available to talk over both 正常的 events and difficult issues. 在每学年之前做好安排, 同意你的孩子, 写, 在约定的时间发送电子邮件或打电话.
让空间 让你的大学生为你的一些对话和互动设定议程. It can even be 正常的 and developmentally appropriate for some college students to want little contact with their parents. Some students choose their most important relationships to be with peers and/or significant faculty. This is an important part of gaining personal identity and autonomy and can assist the college student in being able to relate to you.
是现实的 和你的大学生讨论财务问题. 大多数学生来学校时都有一个相当详细的学费计划, 费用, 书, 住宿费和伙食费由我们支付, 以及家庭对花钱的期望. 一开始就说清楚可能有助于避免以后的误解.
支持 学习成绩和成绩. PBA旨在吸引来自世界各地的优秀学生, and not every first-year student who excelled academically in high school will be an all-A student. Developing or refining the capacity to work independently and consistently and to demonstrate mastery can be more important than grades, 只要你的学生符合PBA规定的基本学术要求.
如果你的孩子在PBA遇到困难, 鼓励学生充分利用丰富的资源. Our Student Success Center is a one-stop destination for most student issues including academic, 职业和咨询需求. 我们的校园牧师，还是 健康中心 也可能是合适的地方建议你的学生.
